Nine and counting

Over nine years ago little did I know that I would be in the fight of my life battling the bounds of addiction. Obviously, I never set out to be a full-fledged alcoholic, but that’s exactly what happened. I didn’t just decide to get up one day and say to myself “Yup, I going to mess up my life and lose everything that was near and dear to me just to piss everyone off” I had spent most of my life trying to escape from the life that was created for me by birth. Today, my life doesn’t even begin to resemble the trainwreck of life that I created. I found myself like the main character in Mary Shelley” Frankenstein” I became this monster that I didn’t recognize. I wasn’t a mean person, in fact just the opposite occurred, I found myself becoming an extrovert and I loved the euphoria I felt after I had my first sip of what was my own personal liquid courage and even though it tasted absolutely awful, I couldn’t deny the sensation and the feeling of truly finding out what the meaning of unhibited meant. I could feel the liquid coursing through my veins and I found myself saying things that I would never imagine myself saying and life continued on my drinking was still at a manageable state, where I could take it or leave but unfortunately, like every addiction it boomerangs and I found myself not being able to hide from the demons of my past, I could no longer hide from my childhood sexual abuse or being emotionally and physically abused which plunged me into a full-fledged eating disorder and it all came flooding back and I didn’t want to feel anything, I wanted to be numb and devoid of any feeling so I ramped my drinking up to the point that I would pass out , but still be able to continue to work but once at home my drinking routine took over. My bottom was on December 17th, I found myself with bottles of wine and my car on a railroad track waiting for a train to come and permanently put me out of my pain, but my higher power flashed a picture of my sons in my vision and I realized that I couldn’t leave them, and eventually I was arrested and and a week later I went into treatment for 30 days and by the grace of God I have continued to be blessed with nine years of continuous sobriety. My name is Sherry Irvin and I am a woman living in long-term recovery and with the support of my 12 step program and support of people around me I will continue to embraced with the gift I’ve been given.